Girl, Interrupted

Tangled hair, crazy attitude and practically a cigarette in someones hand in every scene. This movie almost made me go crazy with its fucked up views & literally getting in the minds of people who truly believe their ok. 

Psycho Mistress "Winona Forever"


crooked LIFE

(don't mind the mess, my twin was in the midst of moving out)
Shit has been so fucked up to me lately. I cant believe after everything that I've done, everything that I fought for, everything that I worked so hard to make work was thrown out the window. YEARS of work.Shit doesn't just happen. People let shit happen.

Well I wish my weight would stop fluctuating up & down and just stay STEADY. I always want to stay petite though. Finally went to see my twins apartment. Its really cute so happy for her I cant wait to have a happy ending for a new beginning if that makes sense. What was funny was on our way out to do a lil shopping I locked the bottom lock not knowing there isn't a key for it. I told her I'm leaving my bag and phone etc. She said she was too. I had a bad feeling about that because I felt like one of us should have a phone but we left without  them anyways -_- Coming back she unlocks the top lock and sees we cant get in then asks me "Please tell me you didn't lock the bottom lock!", I did. She was panicking, I was cool and collective. She hates her landlord she didn't want to go and see her. She didn't even know where her bf's job was and he was not coming home for like another 3 hours. My LIFE was on the other side of the door and we were basically screwed. But staying calm we took turns turning the knob trying to loosen it up. Finally I'm like ok Im just going to try and push it open and hope that the door doesn't break. (yeah as if my little ass can break a door -_-) Well, THESE HIPS DON'T LIE!!!! A lil nudge and turn of the knob & voila it opens kudos to muah :) I'm never locking that door again!



  1. miu miu suede ankle boot
  2. INVICTA Rose Gold watch
  3. Jeffrey Campbell Lita Spike
  4. Lorissa by Sam Edelman
These are to die for! well to me anywho :) Been shopping this whole weekend. One day I will get these babies but for now its something to lust over.



Bridge over troubled Water

This day can go to hell. Straight to it. Its the day  I asked the Devil out. The best and worst day of my Life because I was taken on one Hell of a ride.
its a time. a day. a memory.

"I made you face your fears I think we could've made it
Thought I told you I loved you, maybe we should've waited
How could you ever doubt me when I stood by you proudly?
I would've gave my last breath Now you can't breathe without me"



I cant believe its already December. These months are flying by. We put our tree up a couple of days ago, our fake tree :) We never bought a real one, not complaining but I hear they smell good.
Definitely in the Holiday spirit. I've been doing a whole lot of Xmas shopping. Trying to get my sisters out the way buying them what they actually want. I think I'm going to make a post of my wish list real soon.

Happy Holidays!  


Little Weaklings

I haven't been feeling like my self lately. I feel weird. Physically weird. Some thing bad happened to me a month ago. My body really shot down on me. I blacked out I was fighting so hard to not lose myself but lost and went really numb. I was in the most excruciating pain. It was really bad. Well it sort of happened again only without the pain. I blacked out, went completely numb and I lost all color in me, I was really pale. Very long story short finally went to my doctor he took blood and is going to run a million tests and I mean really check all my organs and what not. I'm nervous. Hoping for the best. There's a light at the end of every dark tunnel right?
I swear misery loves company something bad is always happening to me. And on top of all this as IF my plate isn't already full I'm still dealing with petty bullshit. Looks are deceiving. I was stalked and harassed all weekend. This "guy" from HS thought I liked him. Trust me you'll know if I like you. And the only way is IF I tell you I like you. Well for whatever reason he thought I did, got completely rejected then proceeds to tell me RUDE things. Ugh so fucking typical of a guy. No fucking wonder you don't even have a girl. I was with someone for damn near 5 years. I never cheated on him & he knew about him! He asks me the same day if it was my bf in a music video. SMH and it gets better, he tells ME to delete his number. What are we 15? I never text him EVER! What a dumb ass. Do me a favor and crawl under a rock or bury your head in sand. You're irrelevant in my life.




Such beautiful days it has been lately. Had to take pictures meanwhile the leaves were still falling. Tried a new flavor of tea "Island Mango & Peach". The tea bag is shaped like a pyramid and it actually glistens in the light. Didn't capture it in the photo though.

Yesterday was THANKSGIVING. Hope everyone had a wonderful one I know I did! Ate so much food I definitely gained some weight that I need to work off now. Made sweet potato pie which was really yummy. My lil sister baked so much goodies. Dad bought 2 BIG BOTTLES of MOSCATO. My favorite drink. He knows me so well. I didn't do the early morning Black Friday shopping I was way too tired for that so I waited till after work and dragged my boyfriend with me so he can hold my stuff and wait in line meanwhile I run around like a madman. I bought plenty of gifts that were GOOD deals ONLY. Pretty content with what i bought and the day overall.




It has been a very bittersweet past couple of days. Yesterday was my fathers birthday I also had to rush my dog to the vet :( he wasn't himself all day. It was the first time I ever had to drag him out of bed just for a walk. So far he is showing improvement and I hope he keeps improving I hate to see him in pain and crying it breaks my heart. Really praying for the best. We had a small intimate get together for my dads birthday. We had a very yummy cake my little sister bought him. Wished I had taken a couple of pictures. It seems like no matter how much We try to have a normal and good day bad news seem to follow. Too many deaths and diagnosis it's been a rough couple of days. Well, I'm featured as well as a bunch of other people and celebrities on a site http://entreelifestyle.com check it out let me know if you spot me :) HINT: I'm in the center. It's a clothing line. My sister and I were asked to do a photoshoot for their line which we weren't able to make so we had taken the pictures on our own time. They're really soft and cute sweatshirts check it out. xoxo


I'm terrible

I know I've been hiatus and there's NO excuse as to why I was I never meant for this. I've been doing so much and haven't blogged about any of it! Although I'm back to blogging I'm just going to skip the past few weeks and not bother to blog about what I've been doing and just start off nice and fresh and talk about what is to come.

The holidays are here! I'm so excited I have so much to do and looking forward to many events. Have to get to my holiday shopping as well as Thanksgiving. The weather has been so comfortably warm that I'm dreading the winter I hope its nothing like it was last year.Definitely need to take a few snapshots of how beautiful its looking outside hopefully tomorrow).

I'm currently sick and my eyes are burning even looking at the screen but I felt like I might as well say a few words no matter how weak I feel.

I will always have friends that I stay in touch with and  don't stay in touch with. It's like having different circles with all of them. And no matter how much time has passed or how many years its been if I see those I don't really stay in contact with, seeing and talking to them and being in their presence feels as if time hasn't passed at all. This is a very good thing! And I've only realized this just recently. No awkward moments or strange silences just the same ol'thing only years later. How lovely.



Heavy Storm

I'm not going to sit around and think of the 'what if's', never got a "thank you", no card, NO gifts.

Trying to explain to someone what they did was wrong is no easy task because all they do is DENY DENY DENY. I know its not me because I do what I can. I know I've done the best I can and I feel like there's nothing more I can do. 

I had hoped that when it rained it pour & got exactly that & more....flood. My house flooded for the first time ever! I don't know how or why it all of a sudden happened because we've always been ok through any storm. Wasn't so lucky this time. But above all cloudy days is a clear sky.

Pink Torture

We all have Skeletons in our closet. Some fall out and others are hidden in a dark valley. Mine are just locked in tight with the key thrown away. There are things I will never tell people. Things that are kept between my sisters & I, and other hidden secrets kept to myself. So if you asked me "Can you keep a Secret?" I sure can.


Sometimes I wonder people's motives.

All I hear is bad news.

It's sad to see good friend's fall a part for no apparent reason. And to broadcast it on the internet is just childish and unnecessary. Soon it will be 2012, will things get better? Doubt it. Apparently a majority of people have a tough time facing their problems and so they show it through subliminal riddles and expect us to know the issue. And if it weren't for them I wouldn't have met my boyfriend. :[ I just want to ask why all of  sudden? I don't think I'll ever know.

Good-bye Old friend.

We have good genes

"Life is like a pair of jeans. Some work forever, others seem perfect but never quite fit. Some are sturdy, others need a lot of care. Some get too small, go out of style or just lose their appeal"

I'm glad he chooses me over others as he should. [Sheesh] IF you only knew. 2 more months.


Gold Rush

Getting too many clothes in colors mauve, burgundy or maroon -what ever, Same difference to me.

I have not been feeling like myself lately. I'm too young to be feeling so old. I'm constantly getting a headache and my lower back is always hurting. Thankfully I read in a mag. how to help ease the pain for backaches I just have to buy a ball now and lay on it :) That was easy lets hope it works.


Wedding Bells

My bf takes terrible pictures.

Went to my boyfriends brothers wedding. It was so beautiful made me feel anxious for my day. My second family are such wonderful people & full of life. I've learned so much from them I couldn't have asked for anything more.

You're a cat? Well I'm a Leopard

 Purrrrr for me
 He was mad that things didn't go his way.
still mad :]

Enjoyed a quick stroll by the seaport to handle some business that didn't go swell. Things happen what can I say. Unfortunately small mistakes can cause bigger problems but he'll get over it. [You Live & You Learn]

We then headed to midtown to enjoy a lunch at Olive Garden. It was our first time there & we thought instead of staying downtown eating the same ol' thing we might as well try something new. Well to us anywho. We had such a great time enjoying each others company. I love just being with him and sharing these small moments talking about the WORLD! There's never a dull moment with us. We are FAR from a typical couple but I'll explain myself in a separate post. xo


Delights of Violets

At my boyfriends house stuffing our faces and having small intimate conversations of our memories in this house. I'm surprised it hasn't hit him yet on having to move on such a short notice because it sure hit me hard. There's so much to do in a short amount of time but I have faith that things will get done. Definitely trying to stay really focused to aim for our goals


Cool Breeze.

 I love dark chocolate and a happy ending :) But what I love even more is a smart man not a smart ass. It was quite breezy today. Felt refreshing but I'm going to miss summer real soon. Seems like tea and sweets are in the near future. So I definitely been trying really hard to eat healthier and exercise more. Need to start this yoga class  I been holding off.


Cat Eyes


i pod Cyclops Cover
Was going nuts looking for a mean pair of cat eyes. Stumbled upon these bad boys at UO bought all 3 but since I'm in a giving mood I'll probably give one to my twin. Also bought an ipod gum stand its so cute and simple and had to buy another pair of round sunglasses because I lend it to someone and it was of course  returned back destroyed *sigh


Who tells their girlfriend who ALREADY has long hair to put tracks in them so that he can pull on it? What guy tells their girl "I Love You" when they were kissing a random bitch on the weekend? Assholes that's who. It sickens me to see these things and I been seeing it done more often then I'd like to & the sad part is I don't tell them b/c I wont involve myself in their relationship. Its a smack to the face to the girl who only wants to love and be loved in return. Guys wont learn till something smacks them, shakes them just to wake them.


All these times

I've taken a lot for granted. Just you doing everything for me because you lived so close. Now soon you'll be elsewhere. Farther. Its going to suck. No more unannounced pop ins, simple company, late night rendezvous. Finito. My Life just got a little more complicated.


Rest well Andy Whitfield

crystal blue eyes and bright smile
I was so sad to hear that Andy Whitfield aka Spartacus  has passed away. He lost the battle my aunt survived from , Non-Hodgkin lymphoma. I was obsessed with the show that I didn't think any one else could play him. They did replace him and the new season will begin in 2012. It will definitely action packed. But I wished he was the one and only actor who could play Spartacus. :(


Lost and found?

More like Lost and forgotten :( Spent the weekend with mi abuela (grandmother) Happened to spot a Labrador mix roaming the streets digging in garbage and on TOP of that dragging his broken leg because he had a cast on which was getting really dirty. My twin and I went outside to see who he belonged to since he had a collar on. Turns out he's the same dog abuela was telling us about the day before who fell out the 2nd floor window.
(He hears Casio on the other side of the door)
He was following us everywhere. We went to his house and no one answered. Not even his neighbors. I couldn't open the gate to their backyard, seemed welded shut. My twin even called the number and left a message, NO answer & NO call back. It was a Sunday, all shelters were closed. FINALLY a few houses down a man said he would watch him til someone gets home. I pray for a happy ending because it started to get suspicious. And coincidentally one of his tags showed that he came from the same shelter our dog came from in Brooklyn. I really hope this wasn't a case of abandonment. He's so sweet and he could've been hit by a car. He deserves the BEST!
A sweet little cat who decided to join the party. A stray who wanted nothing more then to be pet and loved. She really followed me to the door and waited for me to come back. It breaks my heart to see them struggle on a daily because people don't want them. Wish I could take them home with me but I already have 2cats & 1dog.


I wish nothing but the best for you too

If a girl understands your bullshit, sticks through your mistakes and smiles even when you've done nothing for her its obvious she's a keeper but its also obvious you don't deserve her.

"Those who know you will see your heart and soul because people are savvy and know if you truly love them"

hello, Good- bye

Its crazy that when I think of certain people I either end up seeing them or they hit me up...so creepy. But it also sucks that the one person you want to see or speak to doesn't want to do either or. I don't know how long it's going to take for me to learn. But I'm learning.................the hard way.


The Echelon

"Some people ask us if this is a cult; I say this: It's something special. It's not for everyone - it's only for those who understand."


Rebel Yell Wolf

 Killer madame, murder, the like. Its all written on paper.
I think its time I closed a chapter from my life and open a new one. I won't be made the fool anymore and I'm just tired of the troubles. No one knows what I been through. The physical and emotional pain. I been through it all. You name it I been through it. And I'm too tiny for all this I can't handle it. No matter the hardships I had to face I WILL NEVER GET USE TO IT because I know there's better. And I refuse to have some idiot change my views and manipulate the way I feel or think. I'm too smart for this. Can't you tell I don't give a fuck anymore? You pushed my little buttons. I didn't shed a tear. I have no emotion, no remorse not a feeling nor a care in the world. "DONT CRY OVER SPILT MELK" trying to leave on a good note.

Hurricane Irene

On August 23 there was an earthquake I didn't technically feel. I only suffered a headache. It actually occurred in Virginia but people felt it here in NY. I guess I didn't feel it because I was moving back and forth in a rush putting my bag together to get out the house.

On August 24 after work I find out my mothers country Peru also suffered from an earthquake. A bigger one then here. It was Northern Peru the jungles, Pucallpa and Brazil. My grandmother is in Pucallpa as well as countless cousins and other relatives. I haven't heard from them. I hope everyone's ok.

August 25 mom comes in my room and tells me to pack an emergency bag. I knew of a storm coming but  I didn't think it was such a big deal I didn't want to pack. I believed she was exaggerating. We had to food shop and stock up many many necessities. I was beginning to get a headache. Had a very interesting and long conversation with two friends I've known for half my life. And although we don't hangout anymore it would be like old times, like time hasn't passed. Just standing in the rain talking. And then it all goes downhill from here. Not stressing it so I refuse to discuss it.

August 26 Today meanwhile I was working I was watching the spanish news and it showed a fiery meteor flying down from the sky in Peru somewhere. They didn't say when it happened but they don't know where it crashed. Interesting. Nothings changed I'm still trying to pack, preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. They say it'll die down by the time it reaches us but you never know. They keep saying its going to be "Historic" we shall see. Just hope all animals are safe especially this kitten I couldn't catch but been feeding. His names Rolex I'll pray he'll survive. <3

young and beautiful

Bare beauty. Natural beauty. No make-up just a clean and pure face. Laying here writing with tired eyes listening to the commotion in the other room.


When dreams collide

 I had the dream again. I dreamed of having a daughter and her name was Marisol. She was about 2-3 years old.I had a dream like this ONE time before a couple of months back. Only this time we were in a pizza shop picking up an order. Although we don't seem to EVER leave there.We talked and laughed and loved it. I loved her so much I didn't want to let her go I always wanted to hold her. I wonder what this means...
"See I fell asleep and I had a dream, It was all black everything"


brown paper bag


I am completely and utterly insane. The only thing who can keep me sane is my cat. A creature. Opposites do attract you know. I mean who wants to be with an angry person if you're a madman yourself? You need someone to help pull you out of your misery, not sit there with you. Why do we always give out good advice and never seem to follow our own words? I doubt myself a lot because I'm afraid of failure.